Consent

Sex education must also address consent.

In all sex education for children and young people, the topic of consent is important. Consent is the norm that all sexual behavior between people should be based on. This is to prevent anyone from exposing themselves or others to violation or abuse.


Consent means that, throughout sexual play and exploration, one must be sure that both the other person and oneself want to participate in what is happening. Neither party should be in doubt. In many sexual interactions, this occurs naturally and spontaneously. This is because one is attentive to one’s own wishes and those of the other person, and acts accordingly. One “dances” together in a beautiful and intimate dance that brings joy and pleasure.

“The Consent Law”

As of July 1, 2025, Norway has introduced a new law—popularly referred to as the consent law. In fact, it is not officially called that, but the requirement for consent has been made explicit in Section 291 of the Penal Code, which concerns rape. It states that it is punishable to “engage in sexual activity with someone who has neither verbally nor through actions consented to it.” The change was made to clearly emphasize that sexual activity must be voluntary. It underlines the importance of ensuring that everyone involved wants to participate—meaning that consent is an active process. If in doubt about whether the other person wants to engage in sex, one should refrain or make sure that they do—often summarized as “only yes means yes.” The law specifies that consent can be given verbally or through other actions. In this way, the law aims to strengthen the legal protection of those who have not consented to sex.

An important change introduced by the law is that it is now explicit that one can be raped without having to prove the use of violence, threats, or an inability to resist. Lack of consent alone may be sufficient in a court case. With this law, Norway has aligned itself with the Istanbul Convention, which requires that non-consensual sexual activity be criminalized.

There are differing opinions as to whether this law improves legal protection. From Sweden and Denmark, which introduced similar laws earlier, we know that more people have been convicted of rape. Critics argue that this has also led to more wrongful convictions. Many such cases involve young people where it is one person’s word against another’s, and both parties may be under the influence of alcohol or other substances. We know that intoxication affects our ability to communicate and interpret others, so it cannot be ruled out that this has created situations where it is difficult to determine whether consent was given.

Given this, many believe that changes to criminal law are not the most important tool for preventing rape. Prevention must also take place in other arenas. Social norms and values play an important role, such as attitudes toward gender, the body, and sexuality. We also know that developing good relational skills is important, as is the ability to recognize one’s own and others’ boundaries and respect them. The consent law can help highlight the fact that women are most often affected by sexual violence and that men typically perpetrate it, making it an important tool in gender equality work. It can also serve as a useful starting point in sex education for discussing how to determine whether sex is consensual. In any case, the law sends a strong normative message that only yes means yes.

But how do we know what we want and do not want, and how can we know whether the other person does or does not want it? Lena Gunnarsson writes in her book Consent Dynamics that consent is both very simple and extremely complex. This is because it involves interaction between people, as well as negotiations within oneself. This interaction is influenced by cultural and social expectations and attitudes, as well as biological processes. Sex is not merely a physical act such as touching, kissing, or caressing.

It is precisely because sex is more than just physical actions that it is so important to us. Sex is about our need for closeness and connection, about feeling valuable as human beings, and about feeling attractive and loved. That is why sex can be wonderful and fulfilling, but also associated with painful violations and abuse.

In Norway, it has been determined that children under 16 are not mature enough to fully understand what it means to consent to sexual acts. Therefore, they should not be asked to participate in such acts—by either other children or adults.

At the same time, we know that many still engage in sexual activities and may feel mature enough to make such decisions. In many cases, this is justified, as young people mature at different rates. Regardless, we must promote thoughtful reflection about one’s own and others’ boundaries and help them understand Norwegian laws in this area.

Persuasion Is Not Okay

Persuading someone to have sex when they do not actually want to is not obtaining consent. Manipulating or pressuring someone into doing something they do not want is never acceptable. Gender norms may play a role. A boy might believe that a girl is expected to be reserved, but actually wants to. A girl might think that boys always want sex, so if he signals otherwise, he must simply be shy.

During adolescence, young people are developing their identity and becoming more secure and aware of who they are and what they like and want. This is a demanding process, but many also experience it as exciting and positive. Adolescence is therefore a time of exploration, including in the sexual domain. It is valuable to encourage young people to discover what they like and do not like.

At the same time, it is important to help them see the connection between their values, attitudes, and personal boundaries. For some, for example, it may not be necessary to experiment with threesome sex to determine whether it is for them if they hold the belief that sex is something reserved for themselves and a partner.

Consent occurs through communication—both within oneself and between those engaging in sexual activity. The simplest way is verbal communication: one person asks, the other answers yes or no, and both follow what has been said. However, we communicate with our entire bodies, and interpreting one’s own and others’ body signals is also important. Some people are good at reading body language; others are not.

Some therefore need clearer guidance, including about what is legally permissible, to understand where boundaries lie. This can be as concrete as stating that it is prohibited to touch a girl’s breasts without first asking and receiving a clear yes. Sometimes, a person’s body language does not align with what they say—for example, saying yes while crying or appearing frightened. In such cases, one must stop.

Cultural “Scripts” Can Be Helpful

Our culture includes sexual “scripts” or guidelines that tell us what is acceptable in different situations and with whom. These can be helpful for children and young people. Examples include only kissing someone you want to kiss or not forwarding nude images you have received.

Cultural Scripts Can Create Difficult Situations

Other “scripts” or informal guidelines can create problems. If one comes to believe that “this is something everyone does,” it can lead to an expectation that one “just has to” take part in a sexual activity, even if one feels uncertain or uncomfortable internally. Withdrawing from a sexual act with someone one considers an important (romantic) partner can feel like calling the entire relationship into question, or making the other person feel stupid, ashamed, or worthless.

Rvts rødt lys illustrasjon

Cultural scripts can be contradictory

The “scripts” or sexual norms that children and young people encounter may be contradictory and difficult to navigate or reconcile. They may find that their friends’ norms differ greatly from those conveyed by family culture or taught at school.


These may again differ from what they encounter in their own religion or see online. During adolescence, however, most will gradually learn to navigate this landscape and become more confident in which values and norms are important to them in expressing their own sexuality. Supporting young people in their self-reflection on these issues is important.

Situations may offer more room for action than initially assumed

We all have experience with going along with things to avoid negative consequences, and this also applies in the sexual domain. Because sexuality is so intimate and private, the negative consequences for oneself can be greater than anticipated.

In teaching about consent, this is therefore an important topic. In such reflection, it is central to discuss whether, in these situations—when one realizes that one actually wants to withdraw from sex—there may be more room for action. For example, can one shift the situation toward a type of sexual activity or intimacy that one feels comfortable with and enjoys?

Updated 29.05.26